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Why Do I Attract Guys with Mommy Issues?

Have you ever noticed a pattern in your dating life where the men you attract seem to have an unhealthy attachment to their mothers? It’s not uncommon to feel like you’re constantly attracting guys with mommy issues, but what does it all mean? In this article, we’ll explore why this might be happening and what you can do about it.

What Are Mommy Issues?

First, let’s define what we mean by “mommy issues.” This term is often used to describe men who have unresolved emotional conflicts with their mothers. These conflicts can stem from a variety of issues, such as abandonment, neglect, abuse, or overly enmeshed relationships.

Men with mommy issues might struggle with intimacy or forming healthy attachments, have a fear of abandonment, or feel the need to constantly seek approval and validation from women. They may also struggle with anger, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

Why Do I Attract Men with Mommy Issues?

Now that we know what mommy issues are, let’s examine why you might be attracting men who have them. Here are a few potential reasons:

Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

If you’ve experienced your own trauma or unresolved emotional conflicts, you might be attracting men with mommy issues because of an unconscious desire to recreate the dynamics of your own relationship with your mother. For example, if you’re used to putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, you might unconsciously seek out partners who require a lot of time, energy, and emotional labor.

Familiarity and Comfort

Similarly, you might be attracted to men with mommy issues because their behavior feels familiar and comfortable to you. If you grew up with a parent who was emotionally unavailable or struggled with their own mental health issues, you might be more likely to feel a sense of connection to someone who exhibits similar behaviors.

You’re an Empath

If you’re naturally empathetic and compassionate, you might be attracting men with mommy issues because you can sense their pain and want to help them heal. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to help others, it’s important to recognize when your desire to fix someone else’s problems is coming at the expense of your own well-being.

What Can You Do About It?

If you’re tired of attracting men with mommy issues, here are a few things you can do to break the pattern:

Get in Touch with Your Own Needs

Start by taking the time to really examine your own needs and priorities. What do you want in a relationship? What are your deal-breakers? By getting clear on your own expectations, you’ll be better equipped to identify unhealthy patterns and set healthy boundaries.

Practice Self-Care and Boundaries

As an empathetic person, it’s important to practice self-care and set limits on how much emotional labor you’re willing to take on. Remember that you can’t fix someone else’s problems, and it’s not your responsibility to do so.

Seek Therapy

If you’re struggling with your own trauma or unresolved emotional conflicts, consider seeking therapy. A trained professional can help you work through these issues and recognize unhealthy patterns in your relationships.


Attracting men with mommy issues can be frustrating and exhausting, but it’s not a hopeless situation. By getting in touch with your own needs, practicing self-care and boundaries, and seeking therapy, you can break the pattern and attract partners who are emotionally healthy and fulfilling.

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